First, it’s important to address the fact that many people feel that there is no such thing as an addictive personality. Individuals, including some professionals, believe that people don’t necessarily have personalities which could lead them to develop addiction problems. Drug and alcohol addictions literally take over people’s lives. So, once an individual reaches out for help and goes through professional addiction treatment, it’s best for him or her to take time to completely overcome the effects of addiction. Drug and alcohol addictions can cause people to feel isolated and distanced from others.
I should have made time every day to reconnect with myself in some way, whether it be meditation, exercise, or prayer. I should have taken time every day to reflect on my own journey and the progress I’d made instead of becoming so fixated on helping him with his. It’s been about a couple of months since we’ve been officially broken up and I’ve moved back to Los Angeles to live with my family. Those fits of restlessness and angst that overwhelmed him every night felt too close to home, and just like him, I had yet to master how to tolerate those uncomfortable feelings. It was ironic because I remembered feeling so happy that I had met him when I was in a “good place” in my life, but all of that seemed so distant now.
Underlying signs for other problems
It was like all of the meaningful talks we had, trips to the psychiatrist, and meditative walks in nature were for nothing. In all honesty, I felt pretty useless to his recovery. The love I had for him and the idea of us kept me in that relationship for several months after the revelation about his addiction, and I eventually realized why Alex had admitted his meth use to me. He thought he could rely on me to be the “strong one” in the relationship, since I was sober, but in actuality, I was just as fragile as he was.
Does God Read Every Thought?
Take notice if you are being asked to provide money, emotional resources, time, babysitting – anything more than feels comfortable. Take notice also of the feeling, however faint, that something isn’t right. Feelings are powerful, and will generally try to alert us when something isn’t right, long before our minds are willing to listen. If you love an addict, your boundaries will often have to be stronger and higher than they are with other people in your life.
He started being so picking to me and only thought about bad side and unhappy memories about me and our relationship. Sometimes would say something really wired and gave me a lot of gravity feelings. I knew he wasn’t a perfect person with perfect personality and I accept it because there’s no perfect partner. I tried so hard this year to maintain the relationship from changing myself.
When you are dating someone with an addiction, it can be easy to start using drugs or drinking on a regular basis. The addict might encourage you to join in, or you may want to do it to feel closer to them. You also might find yourself turning to substances as a way of coping with an emotionally difficult relationship. Even if you don’t have https://mydatingadvisor.com/ a strong addictive tendency to begin with, frequently using drugs or alcohol will eventually lead to a substance use problem due to the affect these chemicals have on the brain. Dating and other social situations can be difficult for recovering addicts. Will you feel comfortable if the person you’re dating has a drink or two at dinner?
Someone in recovery may have a major financial debt or poor credit, a criminal history, and/or difficulty finding work. These may or may not be deal breakers for you, but it’s something to consider before beginning a serious relationship. Support network, engage in healthy activities to occupy your time, and find a sober accountability partner who is also committed to refraining from dating. If you’re in recovery and ready to get back into dating, it’s very important to continue prioritizing your recovery, even over your budding relationship.
We moved in together then after about 17 months together he started to change. I discovered he was smoking weed and became very angry and verbally aggressive towards me and my children. Our sex life had become virtually non existent and he became more angry. I spoke to him several times that he had to stop but would continue to sneak around my back. Everyone I spoke to was convinced he was using more than just weed.
I deserve a clear headed, intentional love, not the in and out scraps left over from a self absorbed addict who denies the impact of his long term drug use. From the reading I have done, my story is not by any means unusual. My ex fell in love with me, wanted a future with me, wanted children with me, was proud over me, felt absolutely so lucky to be with me, yet now he has lost me.
How to Support a Partner Who Is Working Through Substance Abuse
Knowing that drinking is not a weakness, but a health disorder can help you better understand, support, and empathize with your partner. Being aware of self-help groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous might help you steer your person to appropriate resources when they’re ready to accept them. Such groups sometimes offer support groups for friends and family, as well. There, you’ll find others who are going through similar experiences.
Jezebel writes of the importance of communication. When the limits around alcohol are established, the people in the relationship have a better chance of being more comfortable in their new roles. Not clarifying things will likely set both partners up for an ugly falling out when “recovery” and “fun” are cast as opposing ends on the spectrum. Both parties will need to move slowly, practice self-care, and rely on their support systems. This is a great way to vent and work through your pain.
But if you are in a context in which you have watched the person’s godliness, you have marveled at their character, you have rejoiced in what God has done in them and through them, then speed isn’t a big factor. Matt was our recent guest on the Ask Pastor John podcast and answered ten questions on singleness and dating. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment.
